What Does Your Best Self Look Like? — A Therapy Exercise That Changed My Perspective

Alright, I hope y’all aren’t tired of me talking about what I’m learning in therapy because I’m honestly just getting started 😅. Every single session allows me the opportunity to explore my past, present, and future in ways that I’ve never thought of before, and I love sharing it with you all. I know that therapy isn’t easily accessible for everyone or that some people may not be comfortable with going to a therapist, so I love sharing the exercises that I do in my sessions in hopes that you all can do them on your own time and learn about yourself as well.

Last week in my session, we worked on something called the “Best Possible Self Visualization Exercise”. I was instructed to get a piece of paper and make three categories: Best Personal Life, Best Social Life, and Best Professional Life. Together, my therapist and I explored what my future would look like if everything happened just the way I wanted it to. Now, I’d like to share with you what I wrote down for each category and what I learned about myself. So, let’s dive right in!

Best Personal Life

Okay, I struggled a bit with this category, but once I really took the time to think about the goals I have for myself, I had so much to say. For starters, I want to be free of all of my student loan debt. If you remember my vision board I posted earlier this year, that has always been a goal, and I can’t wait to finally live to see that day! Next, I thought about my marriage, and I decided that the best version of my personal life includes having a strong marriage. I would like for us to continue communicating effectively, respecting each other’s opinions, remaining honest, and experiencing new things together. Now, I know that it’s not always easy, but I would love for our marriage to be strong enough to withstand anything that tries to see us destroyed. I’ve heard too many stories about divorces, and I never want us to lose the love we have for each other.

My next vision for my best personal life is to be healthy mentally and physically. Of course, mental health issues don’t just disappear, but I want to have the necessary skills in my toolbox that I can pull out and use for any situation. So, if I have an anxiety attack, I want to have at least three different things that work for me that will help to alleviate my anxiety. Regarding my physical health, I just want to be healthy, live as long as possible, and feel comfortable in my own skin.

Best Social Life

This section was super easy for me because I’ve struggled so much with my social life that I know exactly what I want. Let me explain. If you remember my post from last year bout how I lost all of my friends, you’ll understand my hesitation for even having a social life. However, God saw fit for me to have a very small circle of friends after that situation, and my best social life involves continuing this trend of having meaningful relationships in my life — QUALITY OVER QUANTITY! I’ve been really enjoying my friendships lately, as they have been full of love, support, and loyalty. I’m truly grateful for how far I’ve come in my social life.

Now, my next vision of my best social life made my therapist chuckle, and it’s probably because I prefaced it with, “This might sound bad, but…” So, here goes. My best version of my social life involves me continuing to be distant and reserved from my extended family. Sorry, not sorry! I don’t really do family cookouts or anything like that because my family can be toxic sometimes, and that does no good for my mental health. And, quite to my surprise, my therapist says that it’s really amazing that I already know what doesn’t serve me, and being around toxic people no longer serves the person I am today, so I felt really good about that.

Best Professional Life

For my vision of my professional life, I knew exactly what I wanted that to look like. In my perfect world, I’m a blogger who works from home and has sponsorships from organizations that will help me in my goal to promote mental wellness and women empowerment. It’s a simple goal, but it’s one that I’ve thought about for quite some time now. So, since I have a goal in mind, I am going to work my tail off so that my dreams become a reality.

Final Thoughts

Once I had everything written down, my therapist asked me what my thoughts were, and the first thing I noticed is that my goals are actually realistic. None of these are too far-fetched or too “out there” — these are achievable goals, and many of them are already on the right track to becoming a reality because of the work I’d already put in. For example, I went to a financial literacy class and premarital counseling two years ago, so I’m already on the right path to becoming debt-free and having a strong marriage. Also, I’ve been consistent with therapy, so I’m definitely putting in the work to be healthy mentally.

Another thing I noticed that really changed my perspective is that I’m so proud of myself, which is super rare for me to say (more to come on that in a future blog post). My goals are setting me up for success, and I realized that even having these goals in the first place means that I value myself and my future. I care about myself enough to make plans and put things into action, which is really amazing to me. I’m so happy to be able to say out loud that I’m proud of myself.

My hopes are that you can do this exercise too and see what your best versions of each aspect of your life look like. Whether you struggle with this exercise or breeze right through it, I hope you’re proud of yourself too, just as I was when I did this. Please leave a comment if you plan on doing this or what you thought of the exercise if you’ve already done it!

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.”

– Andrew Murphy