You probably read the title of this thinking, “What the heck is she talking about?” Well, I’m glad you asked. We all have a box or treasure chest of some sort that contains everything about us, whether you know it or not. In that box are our fears, triggers, emotions, and everything else under the sun. The contents of that box are sensitive and private, and we should always guard the key to it closely. We wouldn’t trust a stranger or someone we don’t like with our most prized possession, right? So we shouldn’t tell a stranger or someone we don’t like all of our fears and deepest insecurities. But, some of us do this anyway by giving them the key to our box. If you’re still confused, don’t worry, I’m going somewhere with this. Let me explain.
I won’t dive into the details, but lately, I’ve been letting people get to me. I’ve allowed other people’s words and actions to influence the way I see myself. It seemed like I was powerless and voiceless, and I felt like I had nothing of value to offer the world. Thoughts like that should NEVER have a home in my head, but they nestled there and made themselves quite comfortable. So, of course, I mentioned this in therapy, and my therapist asked me to explain what it feels like to let someone else dictate my emotions and control the outcome of my day.
I used the analogy of the box — everything that makes me vulnerable is in a box, and I just gave that person the only key. Now, they can do whatever they want with it. They can move things around, take things out, add things in, and change the box entirely. It felt like I lost control of my thoughts and emotions. Actually, it was more like I relinquished ownership.
Take Your Key Back
My therapist really liked my analogy and wanted to help me feel like I was back in control, so she asked me to explore what it looks like to take my key back and think through what it looks like to protect my key in the future.
After a lot of thought, I realized that taking my key back required me to claim my power back. I know, it sounds like a cliché, but it’s true. I had to highlight everything that I’ve done and everything that I am. I’ve worked too hard and have come too far just to let someone else bring me back down to where I started. That’s NOT going to happen. We need to recognize what makes us great to help block out the words and actions of people who may not know how dope we are and frankly, don’t care to know it. When we do this, when we acknowledge how amazing we are, we build our confidence up and make it so much harder for anyone to penetrate our confidence with their jealousy, hate, and negativity.
I’ll keep this brief, but just remember that having access to the contents of your box is a privilege — one that not everyone deserves to have. YOU should be the sole owner of that box, and YOU get to decide who should have access to the most vulnerable parts of you and who shouldn’t. Never let anyone make you doubt your worth, and should you ever forget, surround yourself with people who don’t mind reminding you just how dope you are.
“Don’t let just anybody have access to the deepest parts of you. Protect your energy. When people know too much, they can easily harm you.” – Unknown