All, Relationships

Are the People in Your Life Pouring Into Your Cup?

February is upon us, which means that Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. Usually, this is the time of year where I stress the importance of self-love and self-confidence, and while all of that is still important, I decided to switch it up a bit. This year, I want to focus on the love that other people give to you. Let’s dive right on in!

What does it mean for someone to pour into your cup?

You may or may not have heard this phrase before of “pouring into your cup” — if you haven’t, then allow me to explain. If someone is pouring into your cup, this means they are providing you with the support and love that you need at that moment. It is so imperative to have someone in your corner, especially when you’re going through a dark time in your life, and I’m sure it feels just as good to be in someone else’s corner when they need you.

Now, there will be times when you feel like you have been pouring into someone else’s cup a lot lately, and that is perfectly fine because there will come a time when someone will be pouring into your cup more frequently. For example, when my sweet Bella passed away last August, Marlon was filling my cup as often as he could and didn’t expect anything in return. Similarly, I know that there will be some Sundays when Marlon gets the Sunday blues, and I’m ready to fill his cup with whatever he needs without expecting anything in return. Your cups may not always be filled the same amount each time because it depends on a few variables, but there should always be enough in both cups.

What does it look like when someone pours into your cup?

Honestly, it looks different for everyone because everyone has different needs and wants when being supported. However, I can certainly provide ways in which most people would generally like their cup to be filled:

  • Celebrating your wins and accomplishments with you
  • Providing encouragement and empathy in your losses and lows
  • Offering a listening ear when you just need someone to talk to
  • Being truthful with you even if it’s not what you want to hear
  • Respecting you and your opinions even if they don’t agree

When someone pours into your cup, it means that they care about you so much that they want to be there for you and support you through the good and the bad. Unfortunately, there are some of you reading this that are thinking about how your cups have been empty for a while or that there’s a particular person in your life who never pours into you even though you pour into their cup all the time. Bottom line, if you have some people in your life who do the opposite of what I listed above, then take this as a sign from God, the universe, or whoever that it’s time for a change.

Final Thoughts

Let this year be the year that you not only love yourself but also let people into your life who will love and support you the way you deserve to be loved and supported while reevaluating your relationships with those who don’t. I’m not saying eliminate these people completely out of your life if that is not something you want to do, but I am saying that you have a choice to make.

If you find that one of your friends gets jealous and spiteful when you achieve something great, disrespects you, or is mean/rude to you for what appears to be no reason, it may be time to, at the very least, have a conversation with them about how you like your cup to be filled.

Remember, positive energy is infectious — once you surround yourself with positive people who radiate with positivity and love, it becomes easier to display the same. What people often forget is that negative energy is just as contagious — by surrounding yourself with negativity, bitterness, and hate, your heart may start to quickly absorb this energy and turn you into someone you never wanted to be.

“Surround yourself with those who won’t compete but will revel in your success and see your ascent as a reflection of their own possibilities.”

– T. D. Jakes

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