I’m Turning 30! – Top Life Lessons I’ve Learned (so far)

In honor of my 30th birthday this upcoming Sunday, I’d like to share 30 lessons I’ve learned so far. We have a lot to cover, so I’ll try to keep each lesson short and sweet. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

1. Take a break!
Too many people wait until they’re extremely wiped out and exhausted to take a break. DON’T WAIT! Take a breather before you get to that point so you can be refreshed and ready to tackle what lies ahead.

2. Some impulsivity can be a good thing.
I am not impulsive AT ALL, but thanks to Marlon’s occasional impulsivity (and my ability to trust him), we went on a one-night trip to Chicago last year and a four-night trip to Texas this year. I would’ve missed out on this if I overthought it or didn’t trust his impulsivity!

3. Compliment others more.
If someone’s makeup looks really pretty, don’t just think it to yourself. Say it to them! Don’t be stingy with your compliments because you never know who needs to hear them. Put more love and light into the universe!

4. Ladies, learn about your menstrual cycle.
No, not just the days that you’re bleeding. Learn about each phase and how your hormones impact the way you feel mentally and physically.

5. Stretch EVERY SINGLE DAY!
My back has been giving me problems ever since I was rammed in a car accident last year, and stretching every morning really helps. I also try my best to remind my parents to stretch — it’s crucial as we all get older!

6. Know your history.
It doesn’t matter how someone tries to suppress the truth or reshape history. When you educate yourself, you’ll always be in the know. ‘Nuff said.

7. Losing everything isn’t the end.
More specifically, losing everything doesn’t mean you’ve lost. The universe is simply making room for what’s to come. Choose hope and look toward the future.

8. Your timeline has an impact on your moods and behaviors.
If you follow a bunch of people on social media who are negative and bring drama everywhere they go, you are consuming that negative energy each time you scroll on social media. Follow people who are motivating and encouraging.

9. Your clothes don’t have to always reflect your mood.
I’ve learned to start dressing how I WANT to feel rather than how I currently feel. Trust me, I still love my leggings and a graphic t-shirt, but sometimes, a nice dress or skirt can really boost the mood!

10. Treat your savings account like a bill you have to pay.
Don’t wait until the end of your bills and coffee runs to throw whatever you have left into your savings account. As soon as payday hits, put what you can in the savings account. Make it a non-negotiable thing that MUST be paid, if you have the privilege of doing so, to build that savings account and be prepared for any emergency.

11. Start your morning with gratitude.
In addition to stretching each morning, I also thank God for waking me up. It’s something I always saw my mom do when I was younger, and I picked up the habit. I ask God to watch over my family and keep us safe, and it allows me to start the day humbly and gratefully.

12. Never stop learning.
Learn another language, listen to podcasts showcasing experts in a field you’re interested in, or watch a documentary about something you want to know more about. Stay hungry to learn more about the world and the people living in it.

13. Crying can be very healing.
Everyone knows I love a good cry — it’s a natural form of expression that many people try to suppress. However, crying is very freeing and healing, and I always feel so much better once I let the tears flow.

14. Family can be whoever you choose.
The old saying we all know, “Blood is thicker than water,” has to go. I’m sorry. I’ve learned that family will often be the first to do you dirty or talk about you behind your back. Family is whoever you choose.

15. Clutter creates clutter.
I love a clean home and can’t really properly relax until everything is clean. A clean home makes for a clearer and more refreshed mind.

16. Quality time over overtime any day.
I remember first telling this to Marlon 10 years ago when we barely had a dollar to our name. Unless we’re strapped for money, which thankfully we aren’t, I will always prefer his time. It’s my love language!

17. Take care of your skin!
I didn’t start seriously getting into skin care until two years ago, which means I didn’t start consistently wearing sunscreen until I was 27-ish. Wash your face, use moisturizer and hydrating products, and WEAR SUNSCREEN DAILY! Your skin will thank you!

18. Don’t overthink it — make the memories!
I’ve always been hesitant to take pictures of myself in certain angles because of how I may look, but I’m trying to learn that I need to get out of my head. Take the pictures. Make the memories!

19. Talk about your feelings.
I spent a good portion of my teenage years and early adulthood suppressing my feelings for fear of being perceived as sensitive, emotional, and overbearing. It wasn’t until my mid-20s that I learned the value of my emotions and vowed to never suppress them to avoid negative perception.

20. Turn off your phone and delete social media as often as you need to.
Sometimes, my timeline is full of sad news stories and depressing politics, and there are moments when I just don’t have the mental capacity to take it all in. Deleting apps from my phone whenever I’m overwhelmed with news has been super helpful.

21. READ, BABY, READ!
Reading has been very calming for me (the book I’m reading right now is anything but calming, though!), as it gives my brain a chance to slow down from the busy day and engulf myself in a different world. It’s really rewarding, and I wish more of us would read!

22. Worrying doesn’t fix anything.
Full transparency moment — I haven’t even remotely mastered this yet. My dad always told me to stop worrying about things you can’t control, and while he’s right, I still don’t know how to do it. Even Marlon tells me that worrying about the present robs me of my future, but I’m still a work-in-progress on that.

23. Learn about investing!
Investing wasn’t something anyone talked about when I was growing up, and I discovered the importance of seeking the information yourself. I don’t fully understand it and often have to ask a lot of questions to even understand 10% of it. However, I recommend that everyone look into it and try it for themselves.

24. Let nature heal you.
There’s something so beautiful about being surrounded by trees or a body of water. Going on a simple walk in your neighborhood or a hike on a nearby trail can clear your mind and set everything right again.

25. Therapy works.
I’ve been very open about my journey in therapy, and while it may have ended tumultuously, it saved me. Couples therapy before marriage helped Marlon and me start our marriage on the right foot, and individual therapy helped me understand more about myself. I wouldn’t be who I am today without my therapists.

26. Say, “I love you” more.
When I was younger, my dad would rarely tell me that he loved me. I always knew he did, but I always wanted to hear him say it. Now, as an adult, he makes sure that he says it every time we talk, and it heals a small part of my heart each time. Don’t wait to tell your loved ones how much you love them. Say the words.

27. Make time for your hobbies.
No, you’re not too old for video games. If that’s what you love to do, play the video game! Whether you love to birdwatch, dance, or crochet, don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do with your free time. Enjoy your hobbies and make time for them!

28. Marriage isn’t easy...
…but, man, is it worth it. I wouldn’t trade what I have for the world, and I’ll work hard to keep this marriage happy and healthy.

29. Try new things!
Don’t get too comfortable with the familiar. Try new foods, watch a new genre of movie, or find a new way of doing something you always do. There is so much to experience, and containing yourself in a box doesn’t do anyone any favors.

30. Advocate for yourself.
You know your needs better than anyone else. If your needs aren’t being met, speak up (respectfully, of course!). You won’t get anywhere if you’re quiet, and you won’t get anywhere when you’re too loud. Be your own spokesperson so that you can get what you need!

What lessons have you learned that you find are valuable to you? Feel free to let me know in the comments!