Find Your Apostles

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate! In the spirit of being thankful and spending time with our loved ones, I figured I would share a chapter from a book that I just finished called happy people are annoying by Josh Peck. My 90s babies who grew up on Nickelodeon may remember him from the popular TV show, Drake & Josh, and let me just go on record saying that this book is fantastic.

His autobiography talks about the highs and many lows in Peck’s life, and I enjoyed reading every single sentence. The wisdom that he bestows on his readers is truly remarkable, and there’s one chapter in particular that really stood out to me, even long after I finished reading it.

Chapter 7: “Daddy Gandhi”

Hopefully, you didn’t skip the introduction above, because if you did, this header will probably catch you off guard. Honestly, it’ll probably catch you off guard if you did read the introduction, so let’s just get into it 😂.

Without giving too much away, Peck struggled quite a bit in his 20s and received some great advice from one of his favorite actors, Ben Kingsley. Put simply, Kingsley told him to “Find your Apostles.” Naturally, anyone would be confused by this advice, and Peck wrote that it took him nearly a decade to understand what he meant. In my best attempt to paraphrase it, an Apostle is someone who is sent to tell you the truth about yourself, whether you like it or not. Yep, we’re about to dive deep.

Who is the Apostle in your life?

If you have absolutely no clue who could be an Apostle in your life, Peck can tell you. He says, “I’ll tell you who the most recent Apostle was in your life, all you have to do is tell me the last person who pissed you off because you knew they were right,” (page 86).

We’ve all been there before — someone tells you about yourself, and although it hurts to hear it, deep down you know it’s true. You just can’t admit it to yourself. According to Peck, these are people to keep in our lives and be thankful for because they have our best interests at heart regardless of how much we don’t want to hear them out.

In my opinion, Peck and Kingsley are absolutely right. We don’t need “yes” people in our lives because they’re not going to help us grow into our best selves. These people stunt our growth because they don’t offer the opportunity for lessons to be learned and meaningful discussions to be had.

Final Thoughts

In thinking about who my Apostle is, the first person that came to mind was my husband, Marlon. He keeps it 100% real with me at all times by hyping me up when I’m right and talking to me when I’m wrong. He tells me when I take things too far and has my best interests at heart. I used to get sooo frustrated that he wouldn’t just agree with me, and I’m sure he’s reading this right now laughing at all of the stupid arguments we used to have because he wouldn’t tell me I was right. Now, I understand, and I’m eternally grateful for his honesty. I wouldn’t be who I am today without it.

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, think about who your Apostle is. Tell them how much you appreciate them, and let them know that you understand what they were saying X amount of months ago or Y amount of years ago. It takes a lot of guts to be in opposition to a loved one, and your recognition of their love and courage will show your growth in character.

“Don’t listen to people who tell you what to do. Listen to people who encourage you to do what you know in your heart is right.” — Unknown

Also, it’s time for my annual break where I take December off and come back with more blogs for y’all in the new year. I hope you all have a great holiday season — be safe, be happy, and be healthy. Love you!

1 thought on “Find Your Apostles”

  1. This is probably my favorite “you were right” moment! Just kidding, you are my apostle too and thank you for being that foil I need to be better. I love you and keep up the good work. P.S. I did laugh lol

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